What in the curl

So as some of you might know I took my locs down after 12 years. I had been contemplating doing this for a while and I got a random hair up my butt last October right after I moved to Boston and decided that I would do away with my 12 years of what was beginning to feel like baggage.  Initially I grew my hair in locs as a way to try to identify myself as a Black woman (as if that weren't obvious) but over the years I found that I was growing more and more wrapped up in how long my hair was getting. I loved the feeling as they cascaded down my back and I TRULY enjoyed the freedom that I had in NOT having to do my hair everyday.  Man oh man....

At any rate I decided that I was going to take them down. Yup not cut them out but take them down. Loc by matted 12 year loc. It took me 30 hours over 5 days but at the end of it all I was left with a decent headful of hair that I had no idea how to style or care for. I hadn't had loose hair since '96 and it wasn't nearly as long as it was after the take down. So I explored my options (read: stalked women in the streets of Boston whose hair I found to my liking) and wound up in a salon that was "upscale" and catered to natural hair. I made an appointment and I was surprised to find that my hair was so damaged that I needed to get it cut because it wasn't healthy hair (this is under question). Reluctantly I agreed to get it cut and cut she did. I walked in with a big assed afro and left with a teeny weeny one. The change was drastic, sudden and overwhelming.

I had no idea how to "deal" with it and sadly my self esteem took a big hit.  I had gained weight and was  now walking around with a few inches of hair that did nothing to hide my face, the size of it or anything else. I got my hair braided and kept it in the braids as I convinced myself that I was "too busy, too broke and too style challenged to deal with doing my hair".  I hid in those braids for about a year...but as I went into the summer I decided to leave it out and just see what it would do. See what it felt like to have to do my hair in the morning...see if I could figure out how to style it.  I had some surefire misses and some flat out "what the hell are you doing moments BUT I am proud to say that almost a year later...I may rock a wig if I need to run to the store or if I just flat out feel like having a different look but I LOVE MY F'ING HAIR!

   

Nappy (and got the nerve to be happy) fo' life!

Bluecup